As the saying goes, when you marry someone, you also marry their family. Brides-to-be should avoid excluding in-laws during the planning process, short-term appeasement can lead to a healthier relationship.

Displaying respect to your future in-laws throughout the wedding planning process is key to sustaining and building a positive relationship. Don’t assume you can fit into their lifestyle overnight, but including them in the planning process can help. Here’s how to keep your in-laws happy during the wedding planning process.

Tip 1. ACCEPT YOUR NEW FAMILY

Your significant other is a product of the people who raised him and who they grew up with. Welcome them for exactly who they are. Do not put unreasonable expectations and listen to what’s important to them. As a bride-to-be you should focus on all of the positives about your new family and not waste time nit-picking. Get your in-laws involved in the process. As a couple, you might decide on the big stuff like the colour scheme, but why not let your in-laws decide on the menu cards by giving them your top three favourite picks? This is especially a helpful solution if you’re unsure of what to decide on.

Tip 2. KEEP TRADITION ALIVE

Tradition is very important to some parents, especially when it comes to faith and religion. Listen to both sets of parents and identify what matters most to them on the big day. It’s your day, but going against some traditions can be devastating to some parents. They’ll think you’re doomed to an unhappy marriage. Ask them what traditions and protocols were important to them when they got married. Think of it as a way to spend time with one another. This will build your relationship while helping plan and execute.

Tip 3. HAVE THE MONEY TALK

Iron this out early on and talk to your parents about what, if anything, they’re able to contribute to the cost of the wedding. If one set of parents is covering most or all of the costs of the wedding, they might feel like they have a larger say in the details. Meet with each set of parents to have the discussion in order to avoid assumptions with the budget and their role in the planning the wedding.